Episode 027: Lucia Giovannini

Full Transcript

Intro (00:01):

Hi, I’m Rock Thomas, the founder of M1, the tribe of healthy, wealthy, and passionate people, also known as fulfillionaires. You’re listening to the I Am Movement Podcast, where we believe words that follow, “I am following you.” Join me and the world’s greatest thought leaders as we discuss the power of transformation and making success a part of your identity.

Rock Thomas (00:32):

Hey everybody. Welcome to today’s I Am Movement Podcast, and we have a very unique guest today. It’s an Italian lady, Lucia Giovannini, is a former international Italian model turned transformational speaker and bestselling author. How cool is that? A nice combination.

Rock Thomas (00:51):

Her 25 years of motivational work through the globe, conferences and workshops, has been inspired by growing up through local different parts of Italy and Africa. Interesting combination.

Rock Thomas (01:04):

Lucia’s international book, A Whole New Life, has been translated into eight languages, and sold thousands and thousands of copies. And today, she is going to teach us about something that’s near and dear to my heart, how to transform our identity, in order to create a new life.

Rock Thomas (01:23):

We know the words that follow, “I am following you,” so your identity is part of that, the way you see yourself, and how do you transform that? So I’m excited to welcome her to the call today.

Rock Thomas (01:34):

Let’s get at it. So Lucia, welcome to the podcast.

Lucia Giovannini (01:38):

Thank you. It’s such an honor and a pleasure to be here with you.

Rock Thomas (01:42):

Well, you are a perfect person for me to interview, because you’ve had so many different identities in the course of your life. And I want to take it back to your supermodel days, and then, the transformations that you experienced. And what was it like for you, as a supermodel in your identity?

Rock Thomas (01:59):

What were the inner conversations, that some of them, you might have had, maybe you’ve never told anybody, but there’s a lot of pressure that goes with that. There’s a lot of expectations, there’s a lot of attention you get, but some of it isn’t necessarily authentic.

Rock Thomas (02:13):

So, tell us a little bit about that experience, and then the transformation, all the way, to a firewalker trainer today.

Lucia Giovannini (02:19):

Yeah, so at the beginning, of course, of my career, it was all about excitement. And I was very young, because I was still in college. So it was like, everything was new, and this glamorous life, and so on and so forth.

Lucia Giovannini (02:32):

But after a while, it was like everybody, it is true. I got a lot of attention, but it was only for the external part of me. Nobody cared about what I was thinking about, how I felt about my ideas. I felt that I wasn’t really sharing anything with people, except for my body, which, at a certain moment, became very heavy, like my inner conversations.

Lucia Giovannini (03:04):

So on one side, this was going on, okay? So like, “Well, okay, what is this life about? Yes, it’s about going to parties and earning a lot of money,” because that was true. But at the same time, I felt empty inside. It’s like a shell, nothing inside. And I didn’t think-

Rock Thomas (03:25):

How did you deal with that? Drugs, sex, rock and roll, what did you do? How did you deal with that?

Lucia Giovannini (03:32):

Sex, definitely. I think I bought a depression at that point. Nobody knew. Almost nobody knew. I mean, I spoke a little bit to my ex-husband at the time, but he was a model himself. He didn’t understand it. He said, “What more do you want? We have everything? What do you want? Go see a psychiatrist, you have some problems.”

Lucia Giovannini (03:50):

And then I tried to speak to a good friend of mine named Dan, another model, and she said the same thing. “What more do you want? Do you want to do more fashion shows? Do you want to be at the haute couture in Paris?” “I don’t care! It’s not that what I want. And she said, “Go to see a psychiatrist.” Same answer.

Lucia Giovannini (04:09):

And so, I tried to numb myself. I tried to, as you said, food, sex, parties and vacations, holidays in beautiful places, and shopping. But it didn’t work. For a few moments it was okay. I enjoyed the thing. And after a few hours or a few days, maximum, it was gone.

Rock Thomas (04:36):

Oh, come on. How about shoes? You didn’t mention shoes.

Lucia Giovannini (04:39):

Shoes, sure! Shopping, everything, bags, shoes, clothing. And of course, I had these good discounts at designers’ outlets, and so… Yeah.

Rock Thomas (04:53):

So how did you, so maybe some people weren’t as spiritually hungry as you were. How did you transition?

Rock Thomas (05:03):

Because I know that I’ve dated a few supermodels, and it’s a tough transition for some of them, to go from all the attention they got to now, for a woman aging a bit, feeling different.

Rock Thomas (05:19):

At one point, it’s a pain being looked at, and being thought of as a piece of meat. But then, when you no longer are looked at the same way, you’re like, “Okay, hold on a second here. That wasn’t so bad. Well, how come I’m not getting the corner table in the restaurant anymore? How come you’re not paying for my meals? What’s going on here?”

Lucia Giovannini (05:37):

True, true. Well, actually, I left that world before that. Because, when I left that world, I was in my thirties, so I was 30, 35. So I was still, in the good shape. But my reaction was going to the opposite side.

Lucia Giovannini (05:58):

When I started my career as a coach and as a spiritual teacher, I totally couldn’t wear makeup at all. And I still have difficulties in wearing makeup.

Lucia Giovannini (06:08):

I didn’t want to wear any high heels, or anything. I actually used to go outside dressed like, I don’t know, homeless. So yeah, I-

Rock Thomas (06:22):

Like when somebody quits smoking, they become the worst: “Get away from me! Stop smoking! You’re going to die!” Right? They want it put away.

Lucia Giovannini (06:30):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I definitely overcompensated on the other side, saying that I don’t want to be looked at for my exteriority. I want to be looked at for my interiority. I want to be listened to.

Rock Thomas (06:42):

Yes.

Lucia Giovannini (06:42):

And then, it took me probably five, six years of adjustment, where I can wear makeup, if I want to. I’m not fond, as you can see, I don’t wear makeup, even now. But I’m not fond of that, but I can do it.

Lucia Giovannini (06:56):

I still don’t wear high heels, but I’m OK with nice clothing now. It took me a long time. And now, of course, I’m 55, so I’m over the hill. I mean, I couldn’t be modeling anymore. And so, yes.

Lucia Giovannini (07:16):

And so, now there is this invisibility thing. But I think it’s okay, because I, people hear me, listen to me. So that’s the most important thing.

Lucia Giovannini (07:31):

Actually, now that I, that you make me think about it, a few years ago, in a convention, a big summit in Italy, there was this trainer who said, who introduced me, and he said, “Oh, Lucia Giovannini, you are here, and I think she is the most beautiful trainer in Italy.”

Lucia Giovannini (07:52):

And of course, not because I’m so beautiful, but because in Italy, it’s just men and me. So at a certain level, I’m the only woman.

Rock Thomas (08:02):

Sure.

Lucia Giovannini (08:05):

So it’s not that difficult. And I remember internally, I had this reaction, saying to myself, “Well, why does he have to point out that? Why can’t he say, introduce me saying, ‘She’s very good at what she does’?”

Rock Thomas (08:17):

Yes.

Lucia Giovannini (08:17):

“Why does he, he has to point out my, again, my body or my face?”

Rock Thomas (08:21):

Right.

Lucia Giovannini (08:22):

So, yeah.

Rock Thomas (08:23):

Well, I can kind of answer that question is, as men, we’ve been trained to tell women they’re beautiful, because they want to hear that. And then, all kinds of weird things happen. And we talk about these words, the words that follow, “I am following you,” and I’ll give you an example.

Rock Thomas (08:38):

You watch a parent raise a child, and say to the child, “You know what? I love you so much, because you’re so well behaved.”

Lucia Giovannini (08:45):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (08:46):

Or, “I love you so much, because you’re so smart, or so funny.”

Lucia Giovannini (08:49):

Yeah. Or “So pretty,” in there…

Rock Thomas (08:52):

Or so pretty, yes.

Lucia Giovannini (08:53):

You get for female, yeah.

Rock Thomas (08:54):

Right. Or, “You’re such a good athlete,” in the case of a boy, maybe.

Lucia Giovannini (08:58):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (08:59):

And so, although we mean well, what we’re actually doing is we’re setting this expectation to the child of conditional love is, “As long, as I’m pretty, Daddy and Mommy will love me.”

Lucia Giovannini (09:12):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (09:13):

“As long as I’m smart or quiet, or resourceful,” whatever it is-

Lucia Giovannini (09:17):

Yeah, yeah.

Rock Thomas (09:18):

“Then I’m lovable.”

Lucia Giovannini (09:19):

Yeah. “As long as I will perform, then they will love me.” Now there, so the message is, “They don’t love me for who I am, they love me for what I do, or what are, the results I bring to it, to the table, yeah.”

Rock Thomas (09:31):

Correct.

Lucia Giovannini (09:32):

Yeah. Yes.

Rock Thomas (09:32):

So in your work, you’re an author, you’re an achiever, you teach people through NLP, you’re a master firewalker. So you’re doing a lot, and you’re doing a lot to break people’s belief patterns, and help them with that. So maybe speak about that a little bit, because I think a lot of people walk around with these labels, that have been given to them innocently by the people that love them.

Rock Thomas (09:57):

Sometimes they’re good, but some of the times they’re debilitating, and the people are living this way the rest of their life. Somebody said, “You know what? You’re really good at helping me clean up at a party.” And one day they thought, “I’m a little introverted. I helped out, cleaning up the party. People like me, and they spend the rest of their life, not even enjoying themselves, looking how they can help and serve, because they feel loved.”

Lucia Giovannini (10:20):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (10:20):

Does that make sense?

Lucia Giovannini (10:21):

Yeah, totally, totally. Absolutely. It’s like labels we put on ourselves or other people put to ourselves. And I remember Ellen Langer, one psychologist at Harvard, calls them premature cognitive commitments.

Rock Thomas (10:37):

Ooh, nice.

Lucia Giovannini (10:37):

It means, which is very nice. I talk about that in my book, A Whole New Life. And I quote her, because I like the idea, premature cognitive commitments.

Lucia Giovannini (10:49):

It means that we committed to being that kind of person in a moment in our life, where we didn’t have all our cognitive capacities, to really understand what it meant, to wear that clothing, or commit to that label. And then we stick to that our whole life, and it’s really, restricting our capacity.

Lucia Giovannini (11:15):

And so, yeah, what I do, as you said, firewalking, or other rituals I do, in order to help people break through those resistances, break through those labels.

Lucia Giovannini (11:30):

Of course, I think there are a few things that are needed. One, of course, is tools like clarity or what they are. They truly are clarity on what, I mean, where a person wants to go. Because most of our goals also are totally conditioned by who we think we are.

Lucia Giovannini (11:51):

Like, “Oh, in our family we’ve always been lawyers, so you should be a lawyer, too. And now, we expect, or at least, we expect you to be a lawyer.” I just took a lawyer as an example. But it could be, “In our family, we are all artists, and you should be an artist too.” It’s the same.

Lucia Giovannini (12:09):

So having clarity of who we really are, what our talents are, and then, having tools to find our resources, and the other part is, developing the courage to break through, and developing the courage to let go of our old identity, in order to become who we really can become. And that’s when-

Rock Thomas (12:33):

Are you a morning person?

Lucia Giovannini (12:34):

I am quite a morning person, yeah, yeah. At least, my main routine is in the morning like, yeah, like my meditation, my breathing. I do a lot with, when I work a lot, with breathing exercises, my yoga practice. Yeah. It’s early in the morning. Because, then when I’ve done that, I mean, my day starts differently.

Rock Thomas (12:58):

Right. So it’s interesting. Some people will say they’re a morning person. Some people go, “No, I’m not a morning person,” but I grew up on a farm, so I’m a morning person. It comes more easily to me.

Rock Thomas (13:09):

However, I could be an evening person and a night person. I get a lot of energy at night as well. It’s just that, I’ve been conditioned to be a morning person and I just, I say that, because how many of us are something like a morning person, or a swimmer, or we eat a certain way, because the environment provided that opportunity for us? And then we thought, that’s who we are.

Lucia Giovannini (13:35):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (13:35):

So what are some parts that you’ve shifted in your life, maybe from, not so resourceful-

Lucia Giovannini (13:43):

Many, yeah.

Rock Thomas (13:43):

To more resourceful, and how did you do it?

Lucia Giovannini (13:45):

So, while you were you were sharing, I thought about me. I’ve only seen myself as an extrovert, okay, during my modeling time, I was very, apparently I was very, I thought I was very extroverted. Meaning, parties, and staying with people, et cetera, et cetera.

Lucia Giovannini (14:09):

But then, I realized I’m not that extroverted. So I would say I’m ambivert. I’m not totally introverted, but I really enjoy, and I need time with myself, which was something that up to, probably 10 years ago, I didn’t allow myself those times.

Rock Thomas (14:29):

Wow.

Lucia Giovannini (14:29):

Because I felt that, I’ve always felt I need to be out there with people, speaking to people, at the center of attention, et cetera, et cetera. But in reality, that’s not who I am, that’s just to get it, yeah.

Rock Thomas (14:42):

So, was that because it met your needs, or because you thought it would get you what you wanted?

Lucia Giovannini (14:49):

It was because I thought it would get me what I wanted. And also, as a model, when you go to a party, for example, and I mean, sometimes, that’s part of a model’s job. They just pay you to go to a party-

Rock Thomas (15:06):

Yeah, yeah.

Lucia Giovannini (15:07):

To show up. So you can’t show up, and stay five minutes, and then go, or then leave. Or you can’t show up and stay in a corner and hide yourself.

Rock Thomas (15:16):

Right.

Lucia Giovannini (15:17):

So I was, in a way, conditioned to think that, that’s who I am, that’s what I need to be.

Rock Thomas (15:24):

So it’s interesting, in what you’re saying, is that some of us get trained to be something we’re not, because the system rewards us.

Lucia Giovannini (15:32):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (15:32):

And therefore we start to adapt, almost believing that we are that, until we find the time to be quiet enough with ourself to go, “Hold on a second. That actually isn’t the way I prefer to be naturally.”

Lucia Giovannini (15:44):

Yes, yes. Let’s, for example, I can give you an example with my husband, and he was an ex-lawyer, okay? And as a lawyer, you are trained to look at the worst case scenario. That’s what you do.

Lucia Giovannini (15:56):

Because you can’t be a lawyer and think, “Oh, everything will go fine, I don’t read the contract, because it’s okay, and I trust the universe, of course.”

Rock Thomas (16:05):

No, those are energy workers.

Lucia Giovannini (16:07):

Yeah, yeah.

Rock Thomas (16:08):

Energy healers.

Lucia Giovannini (16:09):

Energy healers. And so, that’s okay. But what happens when you, when you do that for many years, and for many hours a day, and then, you look at the worst case scenario in all areas of your life. You’ll go on holiday, and you’re looking at the worst case scenario.

Rock Thomas (16:19):

Right.

Lucia Giovannini (16:21):

You’ll go into a restaurant with friends, et cetera, et cetera. So again, his journey was to detach himself or free himself from that habit, to really find himself. And naturally, he’s much more playful now, and much more open to new things than before.

Rock Thomas (16:46):

That’s a really good point that you bring up is, I watch myself, even today, with a lot of the work I’ve done, have the filter of critiquing, because my father was a very powerful force in my life. And he was very critical. He was afraid of failing so much.

Rock Thomas (17:06):

He was a consultant for companies, and his job was to go into these companies, and see what was wrong and make them better. So he would come home, and he would look at his family, and see what was wrong, to try to make it better. So then I always was trying to make myself better, before he could catch me doing something that wasn’t good enough, so I would be more connected and loved by him.

Rock Thomas (17:26):

But I also realized that it made me really good at building businesses, because I would see what was wrong and make it better. But it also made me judgmental of people.

Lucia Giovannini (17:35):

Yeah, sure.

Rock Thomas (17:37):

And when you judge people, you disconnect from them. Even if it’s not spoken, there’s an energy, I believe, that, you’re looking at them, and you’re like, “Oh wow, they’re not dressed very nice,” or, “They look sloppy,” or, “How come they don’t work out?”, or whatever.

Lucia Giovannini (17:51):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (17:51):

So what is the mechanism you would recommend for clients, or your husband used, to shift? Because I would use inner narrative awareness, incantations, things like that.

Lucia Giovannini (18:03):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (18:04):

Changing my identity to somebody who’s more empathetic, and being conscious of that. What could you add to that?

Lucia Giovannini (18:10):

Yeah, I could add, because that’s also the things I would use, definitely. And awareness is the first step, because if you’re not aware of a pattern, you can’t change it, of course. So the idea is catch yourself when you do it, and the sooner you catch yourself, the sooner you are able to get out of that habit.

Lucia Giovannini (18:32):

And I could add to that some small ritual. Even, for example, for me, on my transition, from extroverted, apparently extroverted, to introverted, my ritual was to spend at least one hour a day with myself. And so, I needed to start saying no, which was very difficult.

Lucia Giovannini (18:59):

Because saying no, then you offend people, et cetera, et cetera. So my other ritual was to say five nos a day, five times, no to someone, to some invitation, to something.

Lucia Giovannini (19:12):

And of course, the idea was to start with the easy no, so that when the most difficult no in my life would come, then I would be already trained with saying no. So, of course, these little rituals can be different from one person to the other, depending on what people need to work on.

Lucia Giovannini (19:34):

But finding a little action, easy action, not something like meditating 20 hours a day, because you’re doing it one day, and then you leave it. But the little thing, that you can do, and really, I call them rituals, because they’re sacred. It’s sacred space, sacred time, sacred action. So that-

Rock Thomas (19:58):

Like that.

Lucia Giovannini (19:59):

Yeah. So when the triggers come, you know how to respond.

Rock Thomas (20:04):

“Honey, would you like to take the garbage out?” “No.”

Lucia Giovannini (20:06):

“No.” Exactly.

Rock Thomas (20:10):

“Honey, would you like to sleep on the couch tonight?” “No.”

Lucia Giovannini (20:17):

Yeah, yeah.

Rock Thomas (20:18):

Okay, that’s good. That’s good.

Lucia Giovannini (20:18):

“Could you please pass me the salad?” “No.”

Rock Thomas (20:24):

What I like about that, the nuance is, start saying it to the little things. Build the muscle, build your confidence, build momentum, and then, I would add, just shift mentally, so that you have a new identity. Something like, “Every day in every way, I build the courage to say no to more things, so I can do the things I’m meant to do.”

Lucia Giovannini (20:46):

Yeah, yeah.

Rock Thomas (20:46):

And that inner conversation is what ends up directing behavior, anyway, so add that. So that’s really, really, really super.

Lucia Giovannini (20:54):

Yeah.

Rock Thomas (20:55):

So today, for you… You want to add something?

Lucia Giovannini (20:58):

Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to add, that that is totally true. And when you start doing something consistently, like saying no consistently, or… I don’t know. When I wrote my first book for example, I didn’t, I thought I was not able to write a book, okay?

Lucia Giovannini (21:16):

And then I started a couple of pages a day, in the book, and then I had the book. At that point, my whole identity changed. Because before that, I didn’t see, I couldn’t think of myself in terms of a writer.

Lucia Giovannini (21:31):

Then, after writing a page or two every day, for more than a year, I became a writer, inside my head, I mean, in my inner talk. So even when you do something consistently, like, you run, even five minutes, but five minutes a day consistently, then you become a runner.

Rock Thomas (21:50):

Yes.

Lucia Giovannini (21:51):

That’s the idea.

Rock Thomas (21:52):

I agree. The same thing happened to me when I wrote my first book 10 years ago. I was almost embarrassed and sit on the plane, and somebody would say, “What do you do?” I could not say, “I’m an author.”

Rock Thomas (22:01):

Even though I was, I couldn’t bring myself to, because I felt like a fraud. And then later I’m like, got it, I got more comfortable with it. And now, I’ve written three books, and it’s a lot easier and it makes sense and I feel comfortable saying it. And I think sometimes, we need to throw that identity out there, and then romance it a little bit.

Lucia Giovannini (22:23):

Yes.

Rock Thomas (22:24):

Right? And play with it, and be okay to know that you’re stretching into it. So, maybe you’re going to, you’re not a bestselling author yet, but you could say, “I’m a best selling author,” and kind of get yourself familiar with it, wear it a little bit. So I like that, as well-

Lucia Giovannini (22:38):

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rock Thomas (22:38):

Thinking of it in that sense.

Lucia Giovannini (22:39):

Yeah. And allow yourself to sit in that place.

Rock Thomas (22:42):

Yeah.

Lucia Giovannini (22:43):

Yeah. And think that you deserve to be that, also.

Rock Thomas (22:46):

Yes. So your book, Whole New Life, tell us a little bit about the meaning behind that. Because I have a thing called, A Whole Life Millionaire, so let’s see where the commonalities are.

Rock Thomas (22:57):

I believe that people pursue one area in their life thinking they can only have a great relationship, but they can’t have a great career, or a great health. I like to believe you can have it all, when you are intentional and purposeful with it, surround yourself with the right community and the right people. What’s your book about?

Lucia Giovannini (23:14):

Yeah, the book, A Whole New Life, is about change. Because I’ve noticed that all of our human problems rotate around change. Because either, we want to change that is not happening, like a change in our career, in a relationship, et cetera, et cetera.

Lucia Giovannini (23:31):

Or we don’t want any change. We would like to keep things exactly as they are, and that’s what life throws us into change. So either way, it’s not easy, to manage change. So, and this happens at any age. If you are a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, the color of your skin, doesn’t matter. In the culture, doesn’t matter. It’s the same towards the whole humanity, I think.

Lucia Giovannini (23:58):

A Whole New Life is a guide through the process of change. So the idea is to help people, and actually, it already helped thousands of people creating the changes, the transformations, they want in their life.

Lucia Giovannini (24:13):

And I totally agree, we need, and I also speak about this in the book, we need to expand our possibilities. For most people, it’s just, they focus only on their career, or only on their family, when we can actually have it all. And so, yeah, also, in A Whole New Life, I speak about, that there’s several areas of your life, and how to improve them, basically.

Rock Thomas (24:43):

That’s awesome. You have such a beautiful, gentle way about yourself. You’re very agreeable. I can tell you’ve done the work. What’s the best way for people to get a hold of you?

Lucia Giovannini (24:54):

So they can find me on my website, which is my name, basically, luciagiovannini.com. Then I have a Facebook group, a free Facebook group, called A Whole New Life.

Rock Thomas (25:08):

Okay. And did you have a gift for something you wanted people just to hear about?

Lucia Giovannini (25:13):

Yes. I have a gift, which people can find in my website, which is a free five-video course called, The Five Days Challenge. And it is based on a part of my method of A Whole New Life. And a part of it is called, The Axes of Change. And in the five videos I will, I guide people, through the several steps that we need to go through, in order to make an evolutionary change, a positive change.

Rock Thomas (25:42):

That’s awesome. That’s super. Is there any other resource, any quotes, any mantra that you live by, that you’d like to leave our listeners with today?

Lucia Giovannini (25:51):

Yeah. Well, a mantra I live by, I try to live by, is a mantra that I think everybody knows, which is a quote that everybody knows, which is, “Be the change you want to see in the world, by Gandhi. It’s quite popular.

Lucia Giovannini (26:07):

But I think the real, it has a real deep meaning, because there are so many things that we know at a cognitive level, but those things would make a real difference, if they could go from our mind to our muscles, to really incarnate those principles, and so, those ideas.

Lucia Giovannini (26:27):

And so, that’s what I tried to do on myself. And also, I try to pass on to other people.

Rock Thomas (26:34):

Well, it looks like you’re very successful in that area, to me. I loved our interview before, and today. You’re a beautiful soul. Thank you for taking the time.

Rock Thomas (26:44):

And I want to remind our listeners that it’s really important how you describe yourself to yourself, that relationship, because labels are available from all kinds of people. Programmers in your life want to come in and tell you who to be, how to be. But you really have to stand guard at the door of your mind and say, “No, you know what? This is who I am.”

Rock Thomas (27:02):

Get to know yourself, and then describe yourself intentionally, “I am, I am, I am.” And then, live into that, and live into your epic life.

Rock Thomas (27:11):

So Lucia, thank you so much. And we’re going to have you back on the show another time soon.

Lucia Giovannini (27:17):

Thank you very much, and it was a such a pleasure. Thank you.

Outro (27:22):

This is the I Am Movement Podcast. To find out more about how you can join the I Am Movement, and take your life to the next level, go to gom1.com. G-O, m1, dot com.