Episode 023: Melissa Krivachek

Ep.023 Melissa Krivachek
Episode 023
#IAmMovement Logo
Episode 023:
Unleash the Hero Within with Melissa Krivachek

“At the end of the day, you build your identity based on where you are, but you can reform your identity by the people that you associate with, the places that you associate with and the energy that you have.” - Melissa Krivachek

Simon Sinek #IAmMovement

Many of us stay inside the box we’ve been building since birth, without gaining a fresh perspective. Personal development allows us to cultivate a perspective in line with our intentions. And if you believe in the law of attraction, you’ll know that what exists in your mind’s eye is what you’ll attract into your life.

Are you completely fulfilled? If not, what can you do to shift your energy, your mindset, or to harness your power? And if you need some inspiration, who can you meet to take your life to the next level? 

Melissa Krivachek should be on that list. Krivachek is an author and consultant with accolades ranging from international best-seller lists to Forbes and Inc Magazine. She pours her passion into re-energizing the top 1% of businesses and entrepreneurs to help them reach unimaginable heights.

On this episode of the #IAmMovement podcast, we discuss what it means to cultivate the energy you put into the world and exist as a force of life, what we pick up from our upbringing and how to put it behind us, and how to recognize our relationship with money as we care for our individual hierarchy of needs. Listen in for gems you won’t hear anywhere else.

Topics Discussed

00:00 – Intro to Melissa and how we choose to form our identity

07:36 – The tools we use to expand our world outward and upward

12:57 – Making mistakes, breaking unhealthy cycles and the hard parts of both

17:57 – How we satisfy our own hierarchy of needs

20:27 – The polarity of masculine and feminine energy

27:32 – How to get in touch with Melissa and sign-off

You’ll Learn

What motivated Melissa to break away from her family’s small-town roots and pursue entrepreneurship for herself

How you got the worldview you have now, and how to expand and elevate it with personal drive, mentorship, and a willingness to do the difficult things

How to harness the power of your unique masculine or feminine energy to thrive in business and in life

And much more!


Note: some of the resources below may be affiliate links, meaning I get paid a commission (at no extra cost to you) if you use that link to make a purchase.

Enjoyed the Podcast? Be sure to subscribe on iTunes and leave a review. It means so much to hear your feedback and we’d love for you to help us spread the word!

Key Takeaways:

“I use writing books as a way for me to curate emotions and get them out of my system so I can function at a higher level. And so it’s more or less a healing process that I do for myself, which obviously in turn gets the readers engaged.” – Melissa Krivachek

“The combination of really solid values with a really tough work ethic has probably taken me the furthest – a lot of people don’t have the privilege of being around these things.” – Melissa Krivachek

“I have this rule that I sort of created, which is live to the community that you’re in, but be a visionary to the world that you’d like to be in.” – Melissa Krivachek

“Success loves accuracy and you don’t get accuracy from speed. You get accuracy from practice, from preparedness and from knowing where the target is.” – Melissa Krivachek

“Feminine is being able to show up in a dress and know that the deal’s done without saying a word because everyone is watching you. It’s being present without actually having a script, so to speak. And so this type of energy is the energy that most people pay attention to” – Melissa Krivachek

Full Transcript

Intro (00:00):

Hi, I’m Rock Thomas, the founder of M1, the tribe of healthy, wealthy, and passionate people, also known as fulfillionaires. You’re listening to the #IAmMovement podcast, where we believe that the words that follow I am follow you. Join me and the world’s greatest thought leaders as we discuss the power of transformation and making success a part of your identity.

Rock Thomas (00:31):

All right. Today’s guests grew up in a very, very small town, the size of a restaurant, almost 300 people in Fort Atkinson, Iowa. Her parents were married for 33 years and she was given a really, really solid foundation values wise and ventures wise. However, none of them have actually really grown up out of this town or became entrepreneurs in a big way. She was able to break this cycle, and even though she spent some time in jail and she maxed out her credit cards, and she was evicted three times, a couple of repossessions, she’s somehow incredibly got blessed to be top 1% in US Executives, nominated for Inc. and Forbe’s magazine prestigious list of 30 Under 30.

Rock Thomas (01:17):

Additionally, she’s gone on to write 10 books, seven which are international bestsellers, in addition to being on the cover of Evolutions Magazine’s Top Power Player under 40. All of these great accomplishments were done after 200 years and 10 generations, and she broke the cycle and became the first entrepreneur in her family. Now, there are five of us, she says, and done in a single generation. She loves to travel food, hang out with people, and ironically she had never seen a black person before she was 15 years old. So, the fact that she was exposed to so little variation in differences had an impact on her identity.

Rock Thomas (02:04):

Yet, beautifully, she has gone on and created some I am statements that are very, very empowering. I am amazing. I am blessed, prosperous, and generous. I am inspirational, and wait until you hear her description on I am life and what it means. She talks about time management as a crock and how you really have to manage your energy. She’s also going to give you some really interesting insights on masculine and feminine energy, and we look forward to a lot, lot more. So, please help me welcome Melissa Krivachek to today’s call. Melissa, welcome to the call.

Rock Thomas (02:42):

I am stoked to have somebody of your caliber, intellect, and certainly somebody who has defied the generations before you. I can’t wait for people to hear your story. Welcome to the I Am podcast.

Melissa Krivachek (02:56):

Thank you, Rock, for having me.

Rock Thomas (02:58):

So, let’s take a deep dive into some of the things that happened in the past, but before we do that, let’s talk a little bit about some of the successes you’ve had. I’m looking at 10 books you’ve written. You’ve created a lot. Where are you at today with that? How did you get to a place where you could write 10 books?

Melissa Krivachek (03:18):

Life. It’s called life, so you just got to live life. Then, I use writing books as a way for me to curate emotions and get them out of my system so I can function at a higher level. And so, it’s more or less a healing process that I do for myself, which obviously, in turn gets the readers engaged. So, because I’m writing from such an emotional state, they feel like they’re right there with me.

Rock Thomas (03:43):

That’s so cool. I always ask my guests before the show to write out some of their I am statements and I’ve noticed you wrote out, “I am amazing, I am blessed, prosperous and generous, I am inspirational, and I am life.” What do you mean by I am life?

Melissa Krivachek (04:02):

All right. So, I am life is an energy and the energy you get from the music that you listen to, from the food that you eat, you should be eating all natural foods that come from natural resources. Drinking tons of water and watching what you put into your body as in terms of what you listen to, and then who you connect with. You are a source of life that is literally growing in order for you to feed the world and other people.

Rock Thomas (04:32):

So, you’re intentional then, what I hear you saying, about how you show up with the energy that you share with other people?

Melissa Krivachek (04:38):

100%, and I think you have to be in order to create the highest level of success that you’d want to achieve.

Rock Thomas (04:45):

Yeah, and so, then would you say you’re the type of person that when people interact with you, they leave feeling a little bit better, a little bit more energized, a little bit more alive?

Melissa Krivachek (04:54):

100%, but I think that’s based upon me putting that energy into them. It’s my intention for them to always walk away whether they’ve had a good experience or bad experience with me for them to feel like they’ve gained knowledge, if nothing else.

Rock Thomas (05:09):

Super cool. I love that as an intention. So, you also have here some things that we could talk about. I want to go into them but before, let’s give people some of the background. So, you grew up in a very small town in, I think it is Iowa? Right?

Melissa Krivachek (05:27):

Yes, indeed. For Atkinson, Iowa, it’s a town of 300 people. So, I always joke around like, it’s the size of this restaurant, and everybody laughs because it’s true. In most cities, the size of a restaurant is the exact size of the town that I grew up in.

Rock Thomas (05:40):

That’s crazy for me to even think about that size, and I’m trying to think about, we all have an identity, a way we see ourselves, and that identity can be linked to an area code. And so, somebody that lives in Beverly Hills versus Iowa is going to have different sensations, experience, and input in somebody that’s born in New Delhi, India.

Melissa Krivachek (06:05):

Oh, for sure.

Rock Thomas (06:05):

So, how did somebody like you, where you have generations of people that have pretty much stayed in the small town, how did you find your entrepreneurial spirit and break that cycle, and come out into the big world, so to speak, and become this force for good?

Melissa Krivachek (06:25):

Yep. So, my family has been in this town for 200 years or eight generations. Not one single one of us has come back to be here. I am the only exception and I probably will only be the ever living exception, but that’s because I chose that, right? So, it’s all up here, Rock, like you have to make a choice. I grew up doing hard work. I believed that we had to do hard work in order to survive. We have to put windshields in semis. It’s what I did when I got a new job before I said fuck you to my dad, and I was like, “I’m about to become an entrepreneur.”

Melissa Krivachek (06:58):

But his reaction to that was like, “Well, my dad tried and failed and I’ve tried and failed and now you’re the oldest and you think you can do it?” It wasn’t, “I think I can do it.” I know unequivocally I am going to do it. So, I’m not going to be hunting, and fishing, and camping. I’m not going to be getting dirty and barely surviving. These things are not for me. So, when you come to a point and you explore life a little bit, so I was 15 when I saw my first black person. I remember we were at the pool with my aunt, it was about two hours from my hometown, and she’s like, “Your dad didn’t tell you there were black people?”

Melissa Krivachek (07:39):

I was like, “No.” Because we were Catholic and whites. So, at the end of the day, you build your identity based on where you are, but you can reform your identity by the people that you associate with, the places that you associate with, and the energy that you have. Now, I would say most people get the opportunity to move, and they move based on a knowing inside of them. So, it’s comfortable to be in California because of the air quality, or not in California, or-

Rock Thomas (08:10):

The lifestyle.

Melissa Krivachek (08:16):

Yeah, yeah, like mode of transportation, like whatever it is. Their surroundings allow them to be in that setting. They’re very comfortable with that. So, I’m the country girl that lives right outside the city, the city of Atlanta right now. So, I just recreated this whole identity and like, “I’m going to eat healthy foods.” I never eat healthy foods growing up. Vegetables were never a part of our diet. Our diet was like, “Let’s go to McDonald’s every Friday night.” And that was just what we did. Because my parents were saving for that one meal that they could take us out.

Melissa Krivachek (08:46):

But the one meal that they could take us out was McDonald’s, and that was what they can afford, and that was what was available. So, what’s available to you is probably ingrained in a belief system that’s come along down generations. And so, in order for you to break this cycle and get out of it, you have to choose, “Okay, it’s going to be challenging, and the things in life that are hard make life easy, and the things that in life are easy, make life hard. So, yeah, you can sit on your ass and not make money, your life’s going to be hard. Yeah, you can eat really crappy food and you will get fat, and your life will be hard.”

Melissa Krivachek (09:27):

Or you can choose eat really healthy, or you can choose, make an extra phone call and your life will be easy. So, do the hard things to make your life easy.

Rock Thomas (09:36):

Now, was your family overweight as a generation after generation because of this lifestyle?

Melissa Krivachek (09:46):

Yeah. Not only were they overweight, they actually were incredibly judgmental. And so, one of the things is like they would just look at you and be like comparing, “Oh, you’re eating a donut. Oh you’re drinking a soda.” Like, oh, whatever the case is. But at the end of the day, it’s not their place to judge you, and if you do get judged, it’s not your place to take it personally. So, you just have to learn these things.

Rock Thomas (10:13):

Did you start reading books, personal development books in order to get these new perspectives? Because I believe that anybody that coaches, their job is to provide a new perspective. A small town provides one perspective. If you’ve ever seen Coming to America with, who’s that actor? It’ll come to me, or Crocodile Dundee, you might be too young to know these movies, but these movies, when somebody comes from another city like Australia to America and they’re like, “Oh my God, there’s so many different things.” How did you get a new perspective? And then say, “Well, I want to venture out.”

Melissa Krivachek (10:54):

Okay. So, first, I worked in retail. I had a really great mentor. In fact, when you’re 16 and have no idea about the world, you want to give up. That’s exactly what I wanted to do. So, I remember I was at the store, I said, “I’m going to give up.” Obviously, I didn’t want to go back to putting windshields in with my dad, but there was like very few opportunities. So, I had two, go to college or stay. A dude showed up at the store that day and his name was Rick, and he had heard some really awesome things about me, which I was super grateful for looking back on.

Melissa Krivachek (11:26):

But that’s only because we’ve had 17 years of relationship now. And so, it’s incredible because he taught me work ethic, and he taught me discipline, and he taught me to show up on time, and he taught me energy management, and all of those things. My parents who have been married 33 years, taught me integrity and standing by each other when things get tough. And so, the combination of really solid values with a really tough work ethic has probably taken me the furthest, and a lot of people don’t have the privilege of being around these things.

Rock Thomas (12:02):

I love that because I always say to people, “Your friends are comfortable with your present, but your mentors are comfortable with your future.” This mentor saw you at your higher self, your better self. He gave you some tools and references for you to build that and lean into it. Did that create a sense of excitement for you, a sense of possibility? Try to think back to that moment as you were going through those learnings with him. What was that like?

Melissa Krivachek (12:28):

Yeah, it was actually really cool because we went store to store together and eventually I overcame his rank in management. So, I was a store manager when I was 19, which I also got fired and then started my own company. So, again, this is a privilege, right? Because I had four years of very, very difficult task working in various different Walmarts, doing remodels, working in deli. I remember the deli got shut down and we had to stay overnight and clean all the grease and it was terrible, but it was better than suffering.

Melissa Krivachek (13:00):

Then, of course, that night I actually got into a really horrible car accident because I fell asleep behind the wheel and totaled my car. So, I just started biking to work because that job was so valuable to me, to be in the city that I was in, that I was willing to do whatever it took to get from A to B to sustain what I had just built. And so, that’s the thing with immigrants. It’s like they come to America, they see these opportunities and it’s not opportunity of like, “Oh, I am in a position of, I get a car immediately.”

Melissa Krivachek (13:32):

No. What public transportation do I take so that I can create and curate this energy so I can move along. And it’s not that they don’t have goals, they do. We all do.

Rock Thomas (13:44):

So, what I hear you saying, which I think is brilliant because you’re dropping so many beautiful gems, is that you were willing to pay the price for this better life?

Melissa Krivachek (13:53):


Rock Thomas (13:53):

You were willing to do whatever it took, you were willing to do what was difficult so that later your life would be easy. Where most people give into, “I’m not in the mood, I might not work, it might not be worth it.” And they give into that inner narrative. So, what I’m curious about, and this is like the big question, is what do you do to maintain the vision of the great life when everything around you was screaming and yelling that you’re a small town girl and you should stay a small town girl.

Melissa Krivachek (14:25):

Oh, that still happens today during holidays. So, that thing doesn’t go away, right? So, it’s always going to be there. I’m very well aware it’s going to be there, and I really have two options, right? I can continue to see the vision and continue to play my life forward, or for a couple of days I can literally just step back and realize like how powerful it is that I came from where I came from. That’s the thing, because we are in a position where we can play that role of becoming small minded and stagnate, or we can continue to just say like, “I’m going to achieve these things.”

Melissa Krivachek (14:58):

So, I have this rule that I created, which is, live to the community that you’re in, but be a visionary to the world that you’d like to be in. That’s always going to help you move towards whatever it is that you’re trying to move towards.

Rock Thomas (15:14):

I love it. I love it. You’re so brilliant. It’s amazing stuff. I hope that our listeners are picking up and taking notes and maybe you’re going to re listen to this. Let’s talk about some of the things that a lot of people don’t like to talk about. You spent some time messing up.

Melissa Krivachek (15:28):

Oh, yeah.

Rock Thomas (15:29):

You maxed out credit cards, you’ve been evicted, you’ve had repossessions. You have spent six days in jail. What the fuck?

Melissa Krivachek (15:38):

Yeah, exactly. So, just to say this, in Iowa, they have nothing to do.

Rock Thomas (15:44):

Thanks for clarifying that.

Melissa Krivachek (15:47):

Yeah, I was notorious for speeding, and the reason was because I had this belief ingrained in me. I really have never talked about this. So, my belief when I was young was success loves speed. I’m not really sure where I picked this up at, but that is not true. Success loves accuracy, and you don’t get accuracy from speed. You get accuracy from practice, from preparedness, and from knowing where the target is. If you’re just going to speed, you’re hitting the target all over the place and you’re not actually hitting the bullseye, which is what you essentially want. So, I use that as my philosophy to get away with speeding, which eventually ended up in jail.

Rock Thomas (16:33):

So, it’s really interesting, and I think a lot of us have had this as. We pick up these beliefs, like he who hesitates is lost, or, look before you leap. They become filters for us on how to operate our life until they no longer are functional. Like in your case, speeding, you thought was the road to success, and then, eventually you’re like, “Ah, maybe not.”

Melissa Krivachek (16:56):

Oh, it’s definitely not.

Rock Thomas (16:59):

You’ve developed enough evidence that your brain came up with a new meaning, and a new belief system now serves you, which is really quite cool, that success loves accuracy. Now, you have some links toward that. So, that being said, you went on to have more success and to break the cycle. What’s one of the hardest things for you now going forward with part of you being the small town homegirl and the pull?

Rock Thomas (17:25):

Because I say, in life there’s three opponents, the external, which is the competition, and the flat tires of life, or spending five days or six days in jail. The intimate, which is your family and friends that don’t want to be left behind. Then, the internal, that’s your internal dialogue, which we’ve talked about, but the intimate is going to be especially difficult for somebody like you coming from a small town. Having that identity, having those references, and having family and friends that probably want to pull you back. Not because they don’t want to see you succeed, but they don’t want to be left behind. Is that a fair statement?

Melissa Krivachek (18:01):

Oh, it’s 100% true, and that’s definitely something I know that I struggle with. So, I would say like one of the biggest struggles for me currently is that whatever money I make, I tend to spend. I will find a way to spend the money. And then, I will say, “Well, look at what I got. I got experience.” And then, there’s nothing really to show for the money except for the fact that I’ve been all over the world, which it costs money to do that. Right? So, at the end of the day, it’s understanding that my parents struggled to make money, and they always had to spend their entire check of based upon fulfilling a hierarchy of needs.

Melissa Krivachek (18:41):

However, my needs are fulfilled without spending the money. So, I just have to look at that and reframe the transaction essentially, that I don’t need to go spend this money frivolously just because I can or just because I have it. So, it’s this lack and abundance mindset that go back and forth like a ping pong ball, like, “Hey, you lacked everything. Hey, now you have everything, so you must have nothing, so then you can get it again.” And it’s just like back and forth banter.

Rock Thomas (19:11):

So, before we go into talking about masculine and feminine energy, because I know that you have some very interesting concepts around that. I want to talk about this because I think it’s really important for a lot of people. There are four money types that we get exposed to growing up. There’s the spender, there’s the saver, the avoider, and the money monk. The money monk believes that you can’t be spiritual and wealthy. You have one God. It’s either money or it’s God. The avoider doesn’t open their bills.

Rock Thomas (19:40):

They just don’t want to know. They’ll only look at the bill comes at the restaurant, they just sign it, and off they go. The saver, they emotionally are constipated when it comes to spending because they have fear on some level that it’s not enough. I’m a saver or have been a saver, and I have ways that I mitigate that now that I have a lot of money. But the spender usually is the person who emotionally is trying to fill up by accumulating, or it’s like retail therapy, they call it, right?

Rock Thomas (20:11):

You’re pissed off, you’re excited, you’re happy, you’re sad, you go and you spend and you shop and you fill up externally. So, what did you learn from your parents? Because we all learn or learn from your environment, you said they have to spend everything in a hierarchy of needs. So, have you replicated that in a way?

Melissa Krivachek (20:30):

So, the hierarchy of needs is the basic needs, which Tony Robins talks about. So, in order to have a roof over their head, in order to have a vehicle to drive to work, in order to meet just their basic needs, they would have to spend their entire check. It was not an option, but what little money they had left over, they would go to goodwill. They would never feel, and this is especially relevant with my mom, she would never feel worthy enough to buy something new for herself. It always had to be a hands me down.

Melissa Krivachek (21:03):

For me, I don’t like things. So, when I talk about spending, I’m not talking about buying things. I am the biggest minimalist you will ever meet in your entire life.

Rock Thomas (21:14):

Oh, no. You got my mother as competition. So, I hear you.

Melissa Krivachek (21:17):

So, it’s not like I’m buying a wardrobe or something. I’m not.

Rock Thomas (21:25):

So, you’re buying experiences?

Melissa Krivachek (21:27):

100%. I will go anywhere on the drop of a dime and I will pay the extra airfare because I can go right now.

Rock Thomas (21:34):

What does it mean to you to be able to do that?

Melissa Krivachek (21:37):

I think we just never had that privilege. So, my sister is 30 and she never has ever been on an airplane. So, I said to her a couple of months ago, “Let me buy your credit card points.” And she said, “No.” So, I hounded her basically. I was like, “Mel, let me buy your damn credit card points.” And she basically said, “No, I’m saving for a trip to Disney.” Now, her kids are four and two, and so, I said like, “When are you planning on taking this trip to Disney? Because I’ve never seen you go anywhere, ever, ever.

Melissa Krivachek (22:06):

For your honeymoon, you went fishing in a cabin. What is exactly your plan here?” I am all about getting in front of people, having experiences, sharing food, and just being able to see a different viewpoint, because we never had that. We never got to see different religions, or anything like that.

Rock Thomas (22:34):

Well, let’s talk about a different viewpoint when it comes to masculine and feminine energy? What are your thoughts around that? Because, again, these conversations that we’re having are not mainstream. They’re not the things that are taught in school about the four different type of money personalities and how we learn to be emotional around money or not around the food, around putting in windshields into cars, and getting pissed off and deciding, “I’m going to go in a new direction and create some contrast in my life and fight for things, taking a bike to work when I get a car accident and not giving up.”

Rock Thomas (23:08):

These are the things that winners and successful people are made of that you’re exemplifying. So, I’m fascinated to hear what your thoughts are around masculine and feminine energy.

Melissa Krivachek (23:17):

Yeah. So, okay, so there’s two types of energy, right? The masculine and the feminine. The feminine is when I am not competing with you. So, as a male, you want to have the empowerment of the female. Most companies are owned by males and run by females, and it’s because females are very much soft spoken. Yet, they are hardcore negotiators. They’re very rarely going to walk away without getting the deal that they want, but they’re not going to throw that in your face like, “Here’s the terms. Let’s agree.”

Melissa Krivachek (23:48):

Feminine is being able to show up in a dress and know that the deal’s done without saying a word, because everyone is watching you. It’s being presence without actually having a script, so to speak. And so, these type of energies is the energy that most people pay attention to. Now, if I’m masculine, I’m very much in competition. So, I’m competing for your attention. I’m competing to win the agreements or whatever. I’m competing, and men do not like to compete because they feel emasculated, they feel disempowered, they feel all kinds of negative emotions.

Melissa Krivachek (24:32):

These emotions drive them harder to get you further away from them when you’re coming at them more. And so, it’s very intricate balance between knowing when to try to get something. By the way, if you’re in feminine energy, you can totally get whatever you want from a man. But if you’re in masculine energy, you’re very rarely going to be able to pull that off.

Rock Thomas (24:55):

Can you remember a time when you were with a man in your feminine and how he responded?

Melissa Krivachek (25:01):

For sure. So, I know you know this story, Rock, but I was actually in Montreal, Canada and I was getting an Airbnb. I had talked to this person about business for five or six years before we even met. And so I said, Hey, Mel just come over to my Airbnb.” And so, he was there within like four minutes and we sat, we had a conversation for many, many hours and it was late into the night. He literally said like, “Do you know how hard it’s been not to kiss you?” I was like, “What the hell are you talking about?”

Melissa Krivachek (25:30):

Like I almost lost it, because I was like, we were just discussing business the whole entire time. And the thing is that in that moment, it was a pivotal realization of, I am being feminine and he is very much attracted to that. So, I put this belief in my head, I could get any amount of money I wanted from him right now. And his only question to me was, “Can I stay the night?” I was like, “What?”

Rock Thomas (25:59):

That sounds like a very interesting transaction, “Can I stay the night?” How much money can I get from him?

Melissa Krivachek (26:05):

Yeah. I’m in my head, right? I know I can definitely take this to a home run and he’s already over here thinking like, she just softened up so much over the last six years of talking business with her that now she has my attention. Now, she has my interest and the whole dynamic changed very quickly, because I was just like, “Whoa, if I had done it six years ago … ” because I’ve been in this competitive mode for 10 years and that I think was based out of survival, “I must make money in order to sustain this lifestyle, in order to not go back.”

Melissa Krivachek (26:41):

A lot of people take this, this mode of transportation, as you would call it, where if you are feminine, there’s no competition. You just show up, you get the deal. Everybody walks away feeling great about it. The man is empowered, the woman feels more confident, and you’re like aligning and synergizing a win-win situation for everybody. I think for women, self-confidence is the most important aspect of the deal, because if I get a rejection, I don’t want to feel shitty about that.

Rock Thomas (27:14):

So, what I hear you saying is that when you’re in your feminine and a man is in his masculine, there’s this polarity, there’s this attraction that happens?

Melissa Krivachek (27:22):

100%, yes.

Rock Thomas (27:23):

When you compete and you’re both trying to use the same strategies, which is to be directed, to be in control, to be decisive, and things like that, then men are uncomfortable with competing with a woman or somebody in their masculine energy, and they tend to want to win at all costs.

Melissa Krivachek (27:45):

Yeah. Or, they’re intimidated and they automatically go to shut down mode.

Rock Thomas (27:48):

Yes, yes, yes. Very familiar with shut down mode. Maybe that’s just because I guess we feel in that moment we cannot win. So, what are we going to do? We’re just going to throw in the towel, or back off, or retreat, or regroup? So, there’s a lot of people that talk about, Alison Armstrong talks a lot about masculine and feminine energy. I don’t know if you know that author, and there’s David Deida. It’s a fascinating conversation because I think with now women in the workforce, unfortunately from my perspective, there’s a lot of women who are falling into the masculine energy, and they want equality and all of that.

Rock Thomas (28:27):

I’m like, “Look, I’ll bleed once a month if I don’t have to be bald. Maybe it’s a fair trade off. What can I tell you?” But you just never know what’s going to show up. So, what I hear you saying is for women, stay in their feminine and enjoy that process and it will be a lot easier?

Melissa Krivachek (28:43):

Yeah, and you have to learn to be feminine, right? Let the guy open the door for you. Let the guy pay the bill for you. Don’t be so alpha that when the bill comes you just slip your credit card in and/or do what I’ve done many times, which is go behind their back, go to the bathroom and then, say, take care of the bill. Then people come back, the bills are already handled by Melissa. That’s really weird, because like all of us are men. So, you just have to know what role to play and you’re not even really playing a role.

Melissa Krivachek (29:10):

You’re just understanding, you don’t have to defeminize yourself to be around really powerful players. That’s not what you’re doing. What you’re doing is letting them take the lead and feel really great while you also get treated really well. Who wouldn’t want their meal paid for? Who wouldn’t want the door opened for them? That’s really all you’re doing.

Rock Thomas (29:35):

Yeah, 100%. So, if people want to get in touch with you, follow you, buy your books, whatever, what’s the best place for them to do that, Melissa?

Melissa Krivachek (29:45):, M-E-L-I-S-S-A K-R-I-V, as in Victor,

Rock Thomas (29:53):

Now, I know you’re on a lot of podcasts and interviews. I know yesterday you had nine or 10 of them, so we’re really appreciative that you’ve taken the time to be with us today. If you were to recommend a book to any of our listeners, what would that be?

Melissa Krivachek (30:07):

So, I would say like The Greatest Salesman In the World by Og Mandino is definitely my favorite. One that I’ve done recently was Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore, which was like just a really fantastic out of the box read.

Rock Thomas (30:20):

That sounds out of the box, Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore?

Melissa Krivachek (30:26):

Indeed, yep.

Rock Thomas (30:27):

Okay. All right. That sounds like a fun one. Sounds completely off the beaten track.

Melissa Krivachek (30:33):

It is. It is indeed. I will listen to the audio version on YouTube. So, it was the first audio book I’ve ever listened to, but the voiceover does a phenomenal job.

Rock Thomas (30:44):

Amazing. So, listen, I want to thank you so much for being on the I Am Podcast, and I want to remind our listeners that the words that follow I am, follow you. You can maybe choose some amazing words like Melissa has. I’m amazing, I’m blessed, prosperous, and generous, I’m inspirational, and I am life. I’m responsible for the energy that I bring to every relationship and be really, really conscious of what you put into your body so that you can have energy as an edge. Melissa, thank you so much for being on the I Am podcast.

Melissa Krivachek (31:15):

Awesome. Thanks, Rock, for having me.

Outro (31:18):

This is the #IAmMovement podcast. To find out more about how you can join the #IAmMovement and take your life to the next level, go to

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