Episode 020: Tommy Breedlove

Full Transcript

Intro: 00:01

Hi, I’m Rock Thomas, the founder of M1, the tribe of healthy, wealthy, and passionate people, also known as fulfillionaires. You’re listening to the I Am Movement Podcast, where we believe the words that follow, “I am,” follow you. Join me and the world’s greatest thought leaders as we discuss the power of transformation and making success a part of your identity.

Rock Thomas: 00:31

Hi, my name is Rock Thomas, and welcome to the I Am Movement Podcast. Today I have a very, very special guest to is full of love, and you’re going to understand why when I talked to him that moment. He’s got an amazing career. He’s a mindset relationship coach. He’s a business mentor, specializes in helping individuals and organizations discover their brilliance and achieving meaning, which is something I’m very, very fond of, so we’ll talk about that, while ensuring financial success and having it all.

Rock Thomas: 01:03

Tommy’s purpose is to empower humans to build a legendary life. He guides audiences to discover their zone of brilliance while living a balanced … some people believe that’s not true, so we’re going to test them on that … life. Tommy really does believe that we can have it all and live a significant life without compromising our business success. His goal is to help people become the person they’ve always been and building a lasting legacy. Welcome to the I Am Movement Podcast, Tommy Breedlove.

Tommy Breedlove: 01:37

Hey Rock. It’s awesome to be here, brother. Love your movement. Love you, man. We have a mutual friend that says you’re an amazing human being, so I am psyched to be here, my brother,

Rock Thomas: 01:48

One of my favorite parts of doing these podcasts is meeting really, really cool people and then adding them to my friends list at the end of the call going, “You know what? We need to hang.” So maybe we’ll learn to love each other even more during the call. So let’s give some people some background because you’ve got a cool name, Breedlove. You were talking before. You said it took you 36 years to really live up to that name. So what happened for the first 36 years?

Tommy Breedlove: 02:13

Yeah, thanks for asking that, man. I’m proud of my name now. So I grew up in South Atlanta in a good, hardworking blue collar part of the world. Unfortunately, grew up with a lot of abuse and bullying, especially inside the home and a lot outside the home. And the worst happens to you when that happens is eventually you become what you hate. You become the bully. And so at 18 years old, no one in my family had ever graduated college and I had planned on going to college. But at 18 years old, the worst happens. Commit a violent crime and instead of going to college, I’m facing seven years in prison, which is a very scary thing when you’re an 18 year old skinny kid. And luckily about-

Rock Thomas: 02:57

Was it retaliation? Were you part of a gang? What happened?

Tommy Breedlove: 03:00

Oh no, I wasn’t a part of a … It was just way too much alcohol and rage and just the worst happens, right? And so I was going down that path though. So it’s actually probably one of the best things that ever happened to me in my life. But by some divine fortune, I ended up, those two felonies were dropped to misdemeanors. I was sentenced to … I spent my 19th birthday incarcerated, so not going to college, but that was evolution one, brother. Picked myself up, dusted myself off and went to work for a nuclear waste container factory, no kidding, during the day, putting myself through school at night.

Tommy Breedlove: 03:36

Eventually, so I went from a jail cell to community college to the University of Georgia to being employed at Deloitte within three years by a lot of hard work and perseverance. And so fast forward, if you want to know what happens the next 15 years I chased it all. I just worked hard, put my head down and chased the American dream, right, of power, money, prestige, success, and I found it. And there I was at 36 years old, corner office, full glass view, looking down on the city of Atlanta, fancy suit, cuff links, you name it, man, all the bells and whistles. I looked like somebody, my brother.

Tommy Breedlove: 04:13

But unfortunately, man, I’ve never ever dealt with those wounds, insecurities and fears from my childhood. And so when the money, the prestige, the title, the next big bonus didn’t fulfill me, I sought it in every other way possible. And if there’s 100 things not to do, checked off about 90 of them and I ended up-

Rock Thomas: 04:34

The Wolf of Wall Street?

Tommy Breedlove: 04:35

Yeah, brother, I lived it. I lived it. And one day I woke up probably after doing some huge merger and acquisition deal and a week later, I’m literally lying in the ditch looking at the blue sky, thinking, “How did I get here and where did I go wrong?” And I just decided at that moment, man, just to turn it all around and make me my full-time job and invest in myself mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, just to find that little boy who never had a chance to become the man I was born to be.

Tommy Breedlove: 05:02

And so I’m graced by, once I made this major transition, that’s when all of these alpha dudes started reaching out to me and goes, “Man, I don’t know what you did, but you did something and give me some of that,” because we all chase that money and power and we get there and we all have ambition and drive and we all got our vanity, but somehow it’s never enough. It doesn’t fill that void inside. And so after about the 20th person reached out to me, this became a calling for me to help others find that fulfillment and significance in life without compromising their ambition, man. So I’m excited to be here, brother.

Rock Thomas: 05:37

So Tony Robbins says that achievement without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. Would you agree with that statement in your case?

Tommy Breedlove: 05:45

It certainly was in my case, because I was still … It didn’t matter how much money I made or what suit I put on or what car I drove, there was just something. The truth is I didn’t love myself and I needed to unconditional. I was taught at a young age I was unlovable and not worthy. And it didn’t matter how successful I looked on the outside, I was still carrying that, “I’m not good enough,” on the inside.

Tommy Breedlove: 06:14

We talk about masks or armor that we wear, the cool guy, important guy, can’t ask for help guy, arrogant guy. I was all those guys and none of them were me. And when I decided to make me my full-time job and to develop that mindset, conquer that inner critic that we all have to start cultivating that unconditional love for myself is when my whole life turned around. So to me, if you come home to a big house that’s empty without people who love or without great friends or without any kind of purpose or meaning, what’s the point of this thing, right?

Rock Thomas: 06:45

Totally. So the human spirit wants to connect. It wants to belong, and being significant and successful actually can isolate you, right? You’re the number one, and people look at you and you think … I was like that, too. I thought, “I’m going to become rich,” I was the youngest of seven, “I’m going to become rich, I’m going to help my entire family.” And then as I became wealthy, it isolated me because people wanted my money, they wanted my help, they thought, “Easy for you,” they judged me, and it creates a different set of problems. So how long did it take you to go from that ditch to a new way of seeing … Talk to me a little bit about that path. Who did you study? What did you do?

Tommy Breedlove: 07:27

Yeah. I ought to be very, very candid here. The truth is, my wife and I had been going through a lot of marriage counseling. And the funny part of that is about the third session of each counselor, they’d always say, “Heather, why don’t” … Heather’s my wife … “Heather, why don’t you stay at home and Tommy, why don’t you come next time?” And at first I was like, “Clearly they’re going to tell me she’s the problem.” And then I was realized, no, no, they saw that deep wound that I couldn’t see in myself. But I remember one of the counselors saying, “Look man, there’s a program in Tennessee that can do more for you in seven days and I can do in 10 years,” because he didn’t know … I had just shut all that stuff down.

Tommy Breedlove: 08:04

So I went to this place in Tennessee and I started to feel. I finally realized I wasn’t alone because there was normal folks like me, there were CEOs, there was rock stars, you name it, all in between, and we all carried those wounds and demons from our past. And it was the first time that it allowed me to see the world, feel the world and feel emotion. And first time … I’m a big dude … I had a big cry for the first time in my life, man. And I’m not ashamed to admit that.

Tommy Breedlove: 08:31

But at that point I made self-improvement, self-development, and realizing my best self my full-time job. Mentors started appearing for nowhere. I read everything I can get my hands on. I have a coach. I’m in a mastermind. So over the past 9 or 10 years, I just constantly cultivate and sharpen this pencil to build that mental, emotional, spiritual, physical fortress so that I can go out and serve my communities the best way possible.

Tommy Breedlove: 08:58

So when it comes to who have I … I’ve studied a lot of Tony, I’ve studied a lot … you name it … Brene Brown. I mean, the list is … Ryan Holiday. I’ve read all three of his books within the last month and I’ve just loved everything that he’s putting out there. And so the list is endless of mentors and coaches and people who inspire me. Every one of these conversations inspires me. So yes, that was the path that I followed.

Rock Thomas: 09:24

So what do you teach now and how can people get access to some of your stuff? What is your core message and how do you deliver that to the souls out there that maybe went through what you did or are looking for some new answers?

Tommy Breedlove: 09:38

I really do, like you, Rock, I really do believe we can have it all in life. And so my core message is how do we build and live a legendary life. And the reason I chose the word legendary, in this world of self-promotion, it’s not really one of those things we can give to ourselves. It’s given to us by society. And we can follow the MLKs and the Gandhis of the world and be a great legend or we can follow the Saddam Husseins and the Hitlers of the world and they’re terrible legends. So what I like about the word legendary is A, it’s given to us by society and B, it takes a village.

Tommy Breedlove: 10:10

And so from the book that’s coming out soon, it’s a playbook, if you will, of conquering your time, to mastering your mindset, to financial freedom, to developing intimate relationships with others. It’s really the tools that were given to me that I use every day, whether it’s in my masterminds or coaching practice, and it’s stuff that has worked for me. It’s worked for my mentors. It’s a simplified version of how to build and live a legendary life in the name of goodness and not darkness.

Tommy Breedlove: 10:41

So that’s the core message. It’s amazing to me what I thought was friendship or network or relationship with my wife or business or financial success when I lived in that fear, when I was in the financial corporate world and I lived in that fear, conquer, conquest mentality to what it looks like now with living authentically and honestly and with love and grace and on the abundant side. It’s just been amazing. So that’s the core of my message, brother.

Rock Thomas: 11:09

So let’s talk a little bit about having it all in the different areas of your life, because a lot of people I talk to, let’s face it, 95%, maybe 97% of the population are not millionaires. And I use that as an arbitrary number of basically a place where you can start to have some freedom. Even when you’re a millionaire, you’re not really free. You just have a little bit more access to time freedom perhaps, unless you have passive income vehicles.

Rock Thomas: 11:33

So how do you win the different areas of your life? How do you become really good with the money, because you talk about that, the importance of that, without sacrificing or giving up the health or the relationships? I know I have some strategies. We teach them in our masterminds. And let’s face it, if you have wealth, what you then can have is more time to work on yourself. Is there an order or sequence when somebody comes through? Look, let’s say they’re struggling in their relationships, they’re struggling with their health. They’re not exactly where they want to be, and they’re struggling with their finances. Do you have an order and sequence or just whatever they want?

Tommy Breedlove: 12:12

I’ll tell you what they want every single time because of my 22 years in the financial consulting world is they want to make more money and money, power, prestige, and they think when they get there, wherever there is, it can be an arbitrary money, like a million, 10 million. The number, it’s just a number, right?

Rock Thomas: 12:32

Yep.

Tommy Breedlove: 12:32

So that’s what they all come for. But it all, one million percent of the time ends up with mindset and emotional health. You and I, we’ve probably got a thousand different tools. You call it passive investments in real estate, investing, you name it. There’s a billion tools out there to make you as much money as you possibly want to make. But again, at the end of the day, it comes down to mindset. Do you believe you’re worthy of that money and do you want to make impact with that money?

Tommy Breedlove: 13:04

So we do take them with a process. I believe every person on this earth has a purpose and I do believe it changes during the seasons of our lives, right? And so the place we start is that purpose, that service bigger than you is how you find fulfillment, because you’ve said it, no matter how much money you make, if you don’t have a mental and emotional fortress and you’re not serving something higher than yourself, whatever that looks like for you, you’re going to be lost.

Tommy Breedlove: 13:32

And so we start by building the foundation strong because our money, our title, our family, our things, all of that can be taken away from us in a matter of a split second. But if you’re standing on a solid foundation of principles and core values and purpose, that seems to be a bit easier to take when the suffering comes. It’s not if life happens, it’s when, right? So we always start with a very formal process. You mentioned it a lot. I’m a firm believer that we all have the same amount of time and time is just a matter of choice. So we do build tools around financial freedom and conquering our time. I’m not one of those people who actually believe in balance. I think it’s a matter of choices and priorities depending on if your family needs to be that priority or building a business needs to be that priority or a career.

Tommy Breedlove: 14:18

So we do a lot of time management, but we do a significant amount of work around mindset, killing that inner critic and ultimately developing that unconditional love and respect for yourself, because I’m a firm believer that until you unconditionally love and respect and think you’re worthy of that love, you’re not going to be able to love and lead fully. And so there’s a lot of different … but we do start with some core, foundational, let’s not build the walls and the roof. Let’s build the foundation. And then we do a lot of work around that. Love it. And by the way, it’s the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done in my life. I can’t explain how rewarding it is to see people just thrive. It’s amazing.

Rock Thomas: 14:59

So you were bullied, you took on a persona of then becoming the bully, from what you said. You’re a big guy, you’re intimidating, and you went through this evolution of charging after success. What were some of the labels you had for yourself during those periods of time that you no longer have?

Tommy Breedlove: 15:19

Tough guy, important guy, I’m always right guy. And the worst one is ye who turns the lights off last wins guy, work for work’s sake. I mean, I was 12 to 15 hour days and that’s networking and going to breakfast and lunch and bars and you name it. It was just work for work’s sake. But I would never ask for help. I could never show weakness. I could never admit that I was wrong and I was just going to try to outwork you, outconquer you, outmaneuver you, outpolitical you and it was just tragic.

Tommy Breedlove: 15:51

But when I switched that … I had no desire to leave the financial world. But what was amazing is when I went through that shift, brother, I went from being probably one of the most disliked people at the firm to one of the most beloved just by being me, just by saying, “I don’t have all the answers. Help me. This is what I’m going through.” And literally in that career, I went from a junior partner to senior partner to international practice leader to elected to the board of directors in three years doing it the right way. I wish I would have known that long before that.

Tommy Breedlove: 16:23

So it was just this amazing … Pain loves pain and love loves love, light and darkness, right, brother? So it was just amazing to me when I just took all of that armor and mask off and said, “World, here I am and I’m good enough.” And being raw and vulnerable, right, people dig it. People want authenticity today. They don’t want all this crap we see on social media.

Rock Thomas: 16:50

I think what you just said there for people that are listening is please replay that. Go back about two minutes and listen exactly to what he said because there within lies I think one of the true secrets to success. It’s funny. If somebody asks you for help, it’s an opportunity for you to make a difference, and we light up.

Tommy Breedlove: 17:12

So true. You could be someone’s miracle that day, literally.

Rock Thomas: 17:15

Exactly.

Tommy Breedlove: 17:15

Literally.

Rock Thomas: 17:15

So why is it that we have this diversion against asking for help when we’re actually giving people an opportunity to light up? How did you access so much courage in such a short period of time to shift from all of the armor, taking it off, being naked and vulnerable? Weren’t you afraid that people were going to go, oh my God, he’s not the guy that you were trying to be?

Tommy Breedlove: 17:43

I was scared to death. I mean, but I was done with the other fear. I was done with the fear of constantly being something I wasn’t. And so yes, was I scared to death? Yes. Am I scared every single day of my life of something? Yes. But now we have the tools to feel the fear and do it anyway. So I can’t explain it for me, and this is what I hope for most people, I hope it’s not one of these rock bottom moments that we all have, and everybody’s got a different level of rock bottom. For me, I felt like it was life or death. For me, I felt like I had let down myself and everybody that believed in me and I was just not going to have that anymore in my life.

Tommy Breedlove: 18:26

And so regardless of how scared I was, I knew I had to step in and step up and to be honest, ask for forgiveness, a lot of gratitude in that. And so for me, I knew that success was never going to fulfill me. I felt like … I don’t know what it was when I woke up literally looking at that sky. I don’t know if it was that little bullied boy who said, “Get up and go be yourself,” or God or a combination of both. I really don’t know. But it was something telling me, “There’s something bigger and better out there for you. Just go find it and be you.”

Tommy Breedlove: 19:01

So yeah, I was scared to death. But what I found, and Rock, see if you go with this, I think when you’re raw, honest and vulnerable, you give people the gift of going second. And people want to be raw, honest, and vulnerable. And we don’t have it all figured out. We’re all scared. We all have these deep, dark desires that we hope nobody figures out. But when you realize that you’re not alone, and I think that’s what you and I and so many other wonderful people do, when you realize that you’re not alone and that there’s other people out there going through the same stuff you are, and when we’re honest, we give the people to gift of going second, and then all of a sudden they’re raw and honest.

Tommy Breedlove: 19:38

In a world, and we talked about it before we got on, in a world where social media promotes envy and jealousy and our news promotes fear and division, it’s hard to find us in all that. And so I really believe, even if we’re scared to be us, that’s what people really want to see anyway. We crave it at the end of the day.

Rock Thomas: 19:58

Totally. So well said. So give us some practical things that you do today to stay in that place and not get sucked up back in the current of the world, some daily routines, things you go to through, some mantras, some affirmations, whatever. I know you have them.

Tommy Breedlove: 20:16

Oh yeah, brother.

Rock Thomas: 20:18

The world, right?

Tommy Breedlove: 20:20

Yes. And so I’m a bit extreme because of the work we do with public speaking, coaching and masterminds. We carry the success and burdens of a lot of people day in and day out. So I spend, and this is no joke, anywhere between two and two and a half hours every morning on myself. I have affirmations. I’ll give you one example of an affirmation that I say every day is, “I am so happy and grateful that love, joy, goodness, good health, success, wealth and money flow easily, frequently, and abundantly to me.” I write that every single day in my life and I have for 10 years.

Tommy Breedlove: 20:56

So there’s an affirmation practice. I have a formal and informal gratitude practice I do every day. I have daily readings from the stoic to Taoism to the prophet to As a Man Thinketh that I read every morning. I exercise every morning, I meditate every morning. I go for a walk, a quiet silent walk to just get my thoughts in order. So I have a pretty stringent daily practice. I have to practice what I preach and the work I do, I’m lucky enough to get to talk in the mirror all day long. I’m like, “Tommy, do you hear what you’re saying? Because you need to apply that in your own life, brother.” And so I do that work. I invest in me first, and I think so many of us put ourselves last. I invest in me first so that I can be the best husband, the best coach, mastermind runner. Whatever it needs to be for that day, I want to put on my best self and sometimes that looks very different, but I have about a two to three-hour practice every morning.

Rock Thomas: 21:52

I love it. And most of the successful people I know have a similar thing. So what do you say to the person who can’t afford that time in their mind? They can condense, they can do the same things, but just condense them. Does that make sense?

Tommy Breedlove: 22:07

100%. You can’t do all that at one time. It’s like going to the gym after three years off and working out for four hours. You’re just going to collapse. What I would say is start small and two very inexpensive, small things that you can do is read everything you can put your hands on. There’s so many great resources online and in books. I mean, it’s ancient wisdom from self-development to business. There’s just so many resources out there and you’ll find the flavor that resonates with you. First thing I would say is read and read all that you can.

Tommy Breedlove: 22:42

And the second thing I would do is start a gratitude practice yesterday, because when you’re thankful for anything, you’re thankful for the things that you have, it gets you in the present moment. It gets you out of that worried about the future, regretting the past. Gratitude puts you here in the now and it makes you thankful for all the things that you do have. And eventually what happens if you practice it enough, and this has been the most amazing shift in my life, is that you start seeing the good in the world and you have these moments of … When I looked at my calendar this morning, I had this overwhelming sense of gratitude, like, “I get to do this today. How cool is that?”

Tommy Breedlove: 23:18

And so I would say start a gratitude practice. Maybe just start with writing five things down every morning that you’re grateful for. Here’s the key. You got to do one back to yourself because we’re so hard on ourselves, that self-critic, you got to thank yourself, even if it’s just for showing up and writing this down today. So thank yourself and to read everything you can put your hands on.

Rock Thomas: 23:38

Beautiful. So do you know my good friend Hal Elrod, The Miracle Morning?

Tommy Breedlove: 23:43

Oh yeah.

Rock Thomas: 23:45

So I love The Miracle Morning. I believe it’s crucially important. However, I also believe the evening routine is equally or more important because it sets up the next morning. Do you have any evening routines?

Tommy Breedlove: 23:58

I do. I make sure that I’m not on my phone within one hour of going to sleep. It’s hard not to be on our phones because we’re always emailing or working or checking something. So I put the phone down. My wife will tell you I’m hit or miss on this, but before we let our … This takes some courage, is I always work at telling her something I’m grateful for related to her, but I do close my eyes at night with the going through the day and being grateful for the day. And I also, I have three books next to my bed at any given time. They’re always positive books. It’s not novels or ancient literature that can be very dark. It’s usually something in the self-improvement or just something in the positive space. And so I want those last things that I do at night to be a gratitude and positivity so that we rest well and sleep well. So I’m a big, big component of that too. So yeah.

Rock Thomas: 24:53

Super. Love it. Amazing stuff. Your mastermind, tell us briefly about that. How often do you get together? What does that look like and what type of people show up?

Tommy Breedlove: 25:03

Absolutely. So what I love about the mastermind is it’s an intimate setting. It’s not as intimate as the one-on-one coaching, but it’s anywhere between 7 and 10 people. And what I love about masterminds is it’s 7 to 10 minds coming together as one. And we work on all phases of life. So you’ve got your hot seat where you’re up for that. So whatever you’re dealing with in your relationship or your life or with your kids or with your business or career is you get seven people helping you with that. I’m the facilitator. It’s amazing. I get to learn from all the great people around me.

Tommy Breedlove: 25:34

It’s usually, masterminds and coaching are for people who are ready to step in and step up, right? And it’s all about how do we be better in all phases our lives. So we always start with wins. We always start on a positive note. There’s always a monthly reading with some questions that we discussed, do we like the book, do we not like the book, are you inspired by it, do you think it’s complete nonsense? And here’s the key. Did you apply it into your life or business, right? Reading without application is kind of unnecessary.

Tommy Breedlove: 26:02

So it starts with wins. We go into a book. We do a small portion on that. If there’s a member in the group who’s dealing with something that’s an emergency, we stop everything else and help them through that. So we always start, “Is there someone with us, something burning that we need to jump on?” And if not-

Rock Thomas: 26:19

Is it by Zoom, or how-

Tommy Breedlove: 26:20

It’s Zoom. It’s people all over the country. And we actually just had a couple of guys from the UK join up too. So that was really cool. But it’s Zoom and it’s three out of four weeks a month. It’s for an hour at a time. And then we get together on an annual basis too, man. So it’s rewarding, impactful. I pay to be in a mastermind. I’m in a mastermind myself with Aaron Walker. I’ll go ahead and prop him up for Iron Sharpens Iron. And Aaron Walker … I actually also have a coach. I’ll give a shout out to Nancy Vito. So I walk this walk too, man. It’s not just like I do it. I’m not a guru. I’m walking the path with you, brother.

Rock Thomas: 26:56

You’re eating your own cooking.

Tommy Breedlove: 26:57

Absolutely. Absolutely, because this train can get off the tracks.

Rock Thomas: 27:03

Well, it’s about … I got from one of my coaches, he says, “Rock, I get paid to offer you a new perspective.” And I thought that’s just so brilliant because you can look at the world in one way and be missing out on all kinds of opportunities. And then they give you a new perspective and then you see it differently. How many of us believe that at one point in time a glass of wine was good for us or a cup of coffee or stretching or eating peanuts or whatever, and then five years later you’re like, “Oh no, those aren’t good things,” right?

Tommy Breedlove: 27:39

Indeed.

Rock Thomas: 27:40

And you have new information and a new perspective. So like you, I’m trying to surround myself with people that are getting the results that I want and then digging into their perspectives and accessing their years of research on it and then I can go, “Ooh, I did not know that. That’s great.” My girlfriend’s an organic nutritionist and I no longer eat meat. I no longer eat chicken. And I’ve eaten it all my life thinking, “Oh, I need the protein.” And I’ve been exposed to a new piece of information with evidence after 25 years and then found out that some of the greatest athletes like Tom Brady and Djokovich are vegans and they perform at the highest possible level. That was available to me before, but I didn’t see it.

Tommy Breedlove: 28:26

Right. Right.

Rock Thomas: 28:27

It’s a new experience and my energy levels are higher. I feel better and I’m excited now. Now I want to run out and tell everybody, right? So it’s interesting that you can be right there but not know. So the masterminds are great for that.

Tommy Breedlove: 28:41

So true. And that’s awesome, by the way. Thanks for sharing that. That’s so cool that you guys have done that. I’ve tried to go 50% plant-based. So it’s a work in process for me. It’s been amazing. But I don’t know about you, Rock, but the more I travel, the more I read, the more I learn, I realize how little I know.

Rock Thomas: 29:01

Oh yeah.

Tommy Breedlove: 29:03

But isn’t it fun learning and getting to grow each and every day? On some level, I think you would relate to this and some people won’t understand this, it’s fun to fail every now and then too, because the other side of it, you’re like, “Man, I learned so much from that.” It’s so cool.

Rock Thomas: 29:19

Well, I love to learn. In fact, in the I am statements, I have a deliberate statement is, “I am a fantastic student that captures the essence of something and applies it at a level of mastery even more right now.” So when I learn something, it behooves me. It’s my Dharma. I must teach it. That’s what I’ve ingrained into my system. So whenever I go to an event, read a book, I’m running around telling people about it, asking them their opinion so I can create access to it. So yes, I love to learn and I don’t mind not getting the result that I set out to and getting a different curious result and finding out what that will do for me and being totally open. So yes, thank you for giving that perspective.

Rock Thomas: 30:00

So as we wrap this up, obviously we are kindred spirits because as you’re speaking, I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. That’s perfect. Yeah.” Some of us look around the world for people that are just like us to be right. And maybe I do the same thing, but I think that when I meet people that are like you that are on this path to provide people with a witness and the experience that going for it all is actually what life is about, having the best possible life, failing along the way and being curious about it and not getting attached to not being a success. And I say to people, we build up what we call a plan for progress. And it’s not about achieving the goal because you know as an achiever, when you go to your corner office, how long did the happiness and great feelings last?

Tommy Breedlove: 30:53

Probably about two days.

Rock Thomas: 30:54

Right.

Tommy Breedlove: 30:54

That’s the truth.

Rock Thomas: 30:58

Think about this as a metaphor. If you only care about winning the football game, 60 minutes you’re playing, you’re only thinking about winning, you’re missing the game. And I think that people live their life that way, like, “When I get the car, I’ll be happy. When I get the house, I’ll be happy. When the kids leave home, we can finally take up the pottery class, I’ll be happy,” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. John Wooden said this. He says he never talked about winning. He talked about getting 1% better. If you focus on getting better, learning and growing, and failing’s part of that, then I think you’ll be happier. Is that something that you agree with?

Tommy Breedlove: 31:38

100%, being better than we were yesterday, whatever that means, and you said it best. More and when, we’re never going to get either one of those places, when this happens or wanting just a little bit more. We’re just never going to get there. I think enjoying the journey, being grateful for this precious life that we’re given. Life is so, so dramatically short. And I believe now that … and this is not to be morbid, but I believe death is a gift because if we were immortal and perfect, this would be a really boring place. The fact that death is a gift and we don’t know when that is coming, so why don’t we do everything in our power to participate in our own rescue and live our best life 1% better at a time? It could be a 0.1% just as long as we’re a little bit better than we were yesterday. And so I’m a huge believer in that. And I want the whole world to believe that. It’s just this burning in me that we can participate in our own rescues and live our best lives.

Rock Thomas: 32:46

So one more point and we’ll wrap it up, is how important is … As you said, kill the inner critic … How much attention do you put on helping people be aware of the words they use when they communicate with themselves and others?

Tommy Breedlove: 33:00

It’s a major, major emphasis. I would put it in one of the top categories. It’s because we’re all super, super hard on ourselves. I had a mentor of mine tell me one time, “Don’t make fun of me. That’s my job.” I know. That was genius. And so the words we use, and it’s interesting how much pushback sometimes we get from affirmations, and depending on how tough this person’s life … We all struggle with that unconditional love. I’ll have people literally look in the mirror and tell themselves they love it. The whole I am movement, I am grateful, I am happy, I am loving, I am wealthy, I am humble. It’s the words we use.

Tommy Breedlove: 33:42

And eventually what you’ll cultivate, and you know this as good as anybody, Rock, eventually you’ll start catching yourself and you’ll switch that harshness into more love, and the results that happen, you’d start vibrating … I know it sounds really woo-woo. We’re energy, man. We start vibrating differently. And these people and places and situations and things that appear in our life just by being a positive force on ourselves, it’s a little woo-woo, but I can’t explain it, but it is very, very real man.

Rock Thomas: 34:14

You can meet people and within very few sentences you can see what the architecture is of their inner landscape because they might say something like, “Oh my God, I just came through the traffic and I tried to get here on time but I mean, I couldn’t believe it.” And you can just see this person is used to giving up their power, right? Instead of walking in and saying, “Hey guys, I’m so glad I’m here. 10 minutes late. It was really wild out there. But man, let’s get started,” right?

Tommy Breedlove: 34:43

Yeah.

Rock Thomas: 34:44

A completely different perspective and inner architect of the words that you make. I have a do not do list of words I’m working on, like I don’t see the point of saying, “I wish.” I wish I was in Bahamas right now. I wish my employee didn’t quit. I think that almost all suffering comes from a lack of acceptance.

Tommy Breedlove: 35:12

So true.

Rock Thomas: 35:13

Wishing something was different is the exact opposite. So I think words are so, so important. As I listen to you, I can see that you have the practice. I’m really paying attention to that. I just want to honor you for that.

Tommy Breedlove: 35:26

Thank you, brother. And two words that I really, really … I have a whole list too, but two I really despise are should and try. Those words, they’re dirty, filthy, nasty words. Take them out of your vocabulary.

Rock Thomas: 35:40

They’re swear words baby.

Tommy Breedlove: 35:46

Anytime we should, right? Should. That’s a shame monster, right?

Rock Thomas: 35:50

Yeah. Well, Tony says, I think, a lot of people just should all over themselves.

Tommy Breedlove: 35:55

Indeed.

Rock Thomas: 35:58

My little saying I’ve been saying for about 15 years now too is, “I’m gifted, guided and grateful, powerful, passionate and playful, sexy, sensual, sensitive, and blessed.”

Tommy Breedlove: 36:12

Oh man. I would play that 300 times. You incorporate that into your vocabulary and belief system, you won. That’s called hashtag winning. That’s beautiful, brother. Beautiful.

Rock Thomas: 36:26

Well, I think Breedlove takes it all. You’re crushing all of us with that. It’s perfect. You breed love. That’s what you’re doing. You’re making everything in your life a little bit better. I really, really am glad that you came on our show. Thank you for sharing your light and your love, and I look forward to meeting you in person one day.

Tommy Breedlove: 36:45

Rock, I love it, man. What an honor, and I am humble, man. I’m grateful to be here. Thank you.

Rock Thomas: 36:51

All right, so Tommy, you are coming out with a book and it is a New York Times bestseller and USA Today and all that kind of good stuff, the traction [crosstalk 00:36:58]. Why don’t you tell us really briefly why you’re so passionate about this book?

Tommy Breedlove: 37:06

It’s a book that I needed when I went through the massive transformation in my life at 36 years old. It is stories and a playbook and blueprint for building and living a legendary life, from mastering our times to conquering our fears to financial freedom to cultivating unconditional love. It’s a book that I needed very badly in my life when I decided enough is enough and to live my best self.

Tommy Breedlove: 37:32

And the reason it’s called Legendary, in a world of a lot of smoke and mirrors and self-promotion, the title Legendary is not something we can give to ourself. It has to be given to us by our peers. I, like you, Rock, want to leave this world a much better place than I found it and I want to be known as a legend and it’s certainly an aspiration of mine. I’m certainly not there yet. But I think with these simple tools and this playbook, you can actually lead a life of significance and leave a lasting legacy so that you will be known as a legend. So I’m super excited about it.

Rock Thomas: 38:09

Yeah, well, I’m excited to get my copy. So for those of you that are listening, we’re going to also attach the show notes on when this book is going to come out. Get yourself a copy. Get lined up for it. And you know after hearing Tommy share his heart that there’s going to be so many gems in there and you can access his wisdom and his transformation. So thanks, Tommy, again for sharing with us that and we look forward to getting our copy, and when we get together, I’ll get you to sign it.

Tommy Breedlove: 38:34

So super excited. I’m just going to send you a signed copy anyway, brother.

Rock Thomas: 38:37

All right. I appreciate it, man.

Tommy Breedlove: 38:40

Thanks, man.

Rock Thomas: 38:42

Thanks. All right, so as we head out, let me remind you that we’ll have everything in the show notes if you want to catch up with Tommy and follow him, connect with him. I’m sure he’ll be glad to have a conversation with you and pour into your life, as I think you can see that. And let me remind you also that the words that follow, “I am,” follow you. So maybe upgrade some of your words. Maybe choose some new ones. Maybe have a gratitude practice. Maybe find some time to do something that Tommy talked about in your morning rituals that will kill the inner critic in you and start to fall back in love with yourself. So thanks for listening and we’ll see you on the next show.

Outro: 39:22

This is the I Am Movement Podcast. To find out more about how you can join the I Am Movement and take your life to the next level, go to gom1.com, G-O-M-1 dot com.